


Purpose

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge Deleted Extended and Alternate Scenes -- Ben's childhood [8]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Baby Ben Solo, Birth, Childbirth, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Good Parent Han Solo, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, POV Han Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 08:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Han reflects on his baby son.





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MidgardianNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianNerd/gifts).



> Prompt: Birth
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Yeah, let’s say that I listened to Karliene’s cover of Winter by Tori Amos and it gave me all sorts of Han and Ben feels. This takes place during the prologue of The Broken Edge.

  
Even cradling this tiny lifeform in his arms, Han couldn’t help but be amazed. Even with the baby accidentally poking him in the eye, it was still a beautiful moment, still a moment of peace and wonder that you didn’t really get that often, having a baby. Baby Ben looked up at his father, blue eyes trying to take in the new and wondrous galaxy. And Han wondered — was this what just being born was like, without any worries or any cares? He grinned down at his son.

“You tired, little guy?” Han said softly. “You worked pretty hard getting from here to here, didn’t you?”

The baby looked up at him, almost as if taking in all his words for the first time, taking him in fully. Han could only imagine what he looked like to this small lifeform, a tall man saying things that Han didn’t know if he could understand or not. He was just so little too. So delicate. Definitely no slouch, though.

“I’m your Daddy,” Han said. “There’s a whole big galaxy out there for you, kiddo. I’ll show it to you sometime. It’s huge. See?”

He walked with Ben over towards the window and propped him up to look at the stars. Ben reached out with one chubby hand, almost like he was trying to snatch the stars from the galactic sky. Han grinned. His son was definitely going to become an explorer one day, he really would.

***

Ben was really out when they got home from the hospital, especially after he had had his first meal. Leia looked pretty exhausted too, and Han couldn’t say that he blamed her. It had been a long, trying birth, complete with Leia screaming. Still, looking down at the lifeform that they had created together, their precious, beautiful son, it was worth it. Han knew that he would do anything to make this child proud. He’d never know disappointment, never know pain. Already, images were flying across his mind of things he didn’t get to do when he was just a child. Things like just going on vacations, feeling safe...to name two. He could imagine taking Ben to Corellia, to Naboo, out to parks...

Even that was enough to surprise Han. He’d never had this sense of purpose before. Even back fighting against the Empire, he’d never felt this way before. That raw sense of purpose, that sort of protectiveness for such a small, vulnerable being, a part of him and Leia...

But here he was. Ready to fight for this boy’s chance to have a real childhood, and not the hell that Han had had. Ready to do anything just to save this little being, no matter what happened.

The crib back home was well-prepared for Ben’s arrival. Even as Ben stirred, Han beamed at him. “That’s your home, Ben. Your new home. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Ben seemed to be taking it all in, fully adjusting to this. Even later, putting him down for the night, Han smoothed back his hair. Leia was already exhausted and heading to bed, and Han was alone with his son. His tiny, sweet son.

“Whatever happens, kiddo, I’m going to protect you,” Han said. “I promise.”

And even falling asleep next to his son’s crib (on the floor was a bit uncomfortable, but Han had slept in worse places on his smuggling jobs), Han Solo knew that that was the utmost truth. And he and Leia had done something beautiful; they had created a part of themselves. And that...that was no small feat. Han slept, and he dreamed of taking his son to parks with Leia, watching him grow, things of that nature. And for the first time since the war, he had a purpose.


End file.
